Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Free Write

Hey everyone! I just realized it was my day to do a little free write.<3. This is something I wrote before,and so I thought I'd share it with you guys!Please comment on what you think,I love criticizing on ways I can make it better and how it's good.So,anyway,please just comment!


I ran through the woods, breathing deep. The world was spinning, and air was hard to breath in, but I could still hear him, feel him, chasing me. The sound of the gun rang through the trees, and the knife he held cut the under-growth. Branches split my face and the vines cut my legs. I was miles away from anyone. I wanted to scream, wanted to do anything but run. I scanned the area, looking for anywhere I could easily hide quickly. If I hid though, he would catch up with me. No, bad idea. Maybe if I turned around, headed back for the highway. How could I do that? He was behind me. If I turned around he would cut me off. I had to stay in the trees. Good thing he wanted me alive. But if he got a clear shot, he would shoot me in the arm, or leg. But I couldn’t think about that. Just keep running.

Up ahead, I could see a clearing.

NO!” I thought. I had to go around it, had to do anything but go through it.

Words kept shooting through my head, but the only one’s I could clearly make out was ”No clear shot. No clear shot. No clear shot.” The words rang through my head, the gunshots rang in my ears. I had to go around it. That was it. I swerved, aiming to the right.

Oof!” I landed with a thud. A sharp pain made it’s way up my leg. I listened. Good. He wasn’t close enough. He was still shooting off the gun, but his footsteps were far away. I sat up and looked at my leg. I had tripped over a vine and landed on a stick with the branches broke off. One of the broken pieces had made a scratch from the ankle to the knee. It had lodged itself in the very end of the cut, deep, too. Too deep to remove with my hands. This was bad. Very bad. I needed a place to hide and fast. I looked around,carefully and slowly. There! A tree had fallen down and it still had the leaves in full bloom. Perfect!

I carefully crawled over to it and hid behind it. I flattened myself to the ground and shoved some leaves around my bright orange T-Shirt. I pressed some leaves along the cut to stop the bleeding some. As soon as I did that, I lay completely still, listening.

Where did he go?”   I wondered. The footsteps were gone and I hadn’t heard the gun in a while. Terror flooded my veins.This was not good.

As I lay perfectly still, I listened. I tried to breath easy, block out the sound of the blood rushing through my ears. It was completely quiet. Too quiet.

CRACK! A stick broke, a few feet away from me. I heard him say a few choice words, shoot the gun off, and slice and x into the tree.

I know you’re here.” He taunted, almost singing it. “Come out! I can see you!” I couldn’t see him, so I didn’t know how true these words were. I chose to ignore him, hoping he’d think he’d lost me and go away. I should have known he wouldn’t go away that easy.

Are you here!” He cried, tearing apart a long dead tree. I peered through a crack between the leaves and watched him. He had his back to me, and after tearing apart the dead tree, he turned to the right and stomped off looking behind every dead tree and branch. I wouldn’t stand a chance if he came this way.

I quietly reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell. “Please don’t be dead!”  I thought as I flipped open the screen. I looked at the battery. Almost dead, but still enough to send a text. I pressed my hand over the sound, and made my way to contacts. I found my mom's name, pressed sent a text ,and started typing-

Mom I nd hlp! Snd Police or smething.I am bing chsed by mad man w/ gun n nife.I m west of HW 73.Please hlp!” I pressed send and got the confirmation message that it had sent.I watched it die just shortly after that.I gently stuck it back into my pocket and lied there,completely still.

After about 30 minutes of him searching the other side I began to think he had forgotten about looking for me and was just taking out some of his anger out on the under-growth. But right when I thought that ,I saw him turn around and come this way. He continued his slashing with the knife, re-searching every hiding place. Then, he slowly made his way to the right side. He slashed open every tree, every vine, leaf, and branch. And then he was in front of my tree.

He started at the top, going very slowly. He knew that if I were there, I would be holding my breath. When he got close to the bottom, I started panicking. What am I going to do? What is he going to do to me?

When he got down close enough where he could immediately see me, he grabbed my arm, not gently either. He yanked me up, bringing the knife to my arm.

This’ll teach you not to do anything stupid.” He growled pulling the knife closer to my arm.

Freeze right where you are. We have you surrounded.” Said an official sounding voice.I  heard a gun cock, and I froze, hoping it wasn’t his. He pulled me around so I was in front of him and stuck the knife under my chin.

NO! He can’t kill me. He can’t! I thought. But then I came to realization. He would. If it meant endangering him, he would do anything to save himself. He had one arm around my upper body, just below the shoulder. Perfect! I smiled, but then quickly changed my facial expression to scared.

You put them guns down or she gets it!” He said, shaking me. I slowly pulled my right hand up, keeping it out of his view. I slowly reached for the knife, keeping my head straight, but my eyes down. I grabbed his hand and flung it away from my body. He let go of the knife and it lodged itself into the tree. I ran, hoping he was still too shocked to move, think, or grab the gun. I ran towards the voice, hoping it was a police officer. But when he stepped out, he wasn’t in uniform or anything. That’s not a cop!  I thought. I turned around and ran, my leg hurting so bad. I couldn’t do this for long, but if I hid he would find me again.

Stop and put your hands above you!” I heard a voice yell. I ran into a cop in uniform.

Hi. Are you Elizabeth Katie Maholly? I’m officer Winton. You're safe now.”

Yes, I’m Elizabeth. Will you have someone look at my leg for me?”
“Sure. We brought an ambulance with us. They followed us with their stretcher. Would you like to get on it?”

Um, yeah, but I’m kinda immobile right now.” I said, sitting down. He picked me up and carried me over to the stretcher. When I was laid down my mom was by my side in an instant.

Honey, are you OK? I got your text. Why didn’t you say more? Oh, never mind! I’m so happy you're alive and safe.”

Mom, I’m scared. Who was that guy?”
 
“Well, I hate to say this, but he’s your father.”
 
“WHAT!? I have a father? I mean, I know I have one, but why...”

Shhhh now, hon. It’ll be all right in the morning.” And that is when I fell asleep.
The End

1 comment:

Shelby said...

thats really good, love the detail. I found a few grammar/spelling errors though, but very well written otherwise!
Shelby